I have been meeting with the hospice chaplain for some grief counseling. We have talked a lot on one of my favorite topics, which is allowing yourself to feel your feelings. I talk a lot in the classes that I teach about allowing children to feel their feelings, but I often forget to allow myself to feel mine. Several times, I have found myself thinking "don't cry". Then I stop myself and say "why not?". I have every right to cry. I watched the love of my life fight a hellacious battle and I lost the love of my life. I need to cry. I also told the chaplain that I don't think the word "sad" even scratches the surface of how I am feeling.
Now pardon me while I grab a Kleenex and spend some time crying.