Earlier this week, I had a strange thing happen with my atomic clock in my living room. I woke up one morning and it was set to March 2000. I laughed it off and then I went ahead and reset it the next day since it hadn’t reset itself.
When I posted about it on Facebook page, I had someone make the comment that they’d like to go back to 2000. My immediate response was that I would too, it would give me another 20 years with Tom.
Then I got to thinking about all the pain and joy and laughter and hurt from those years. Tom losing his mom and stepdad, our house fire, moving into this home, graduations (high school and college), marriages, grandkids being born, the cancer diagnosis, losing Tom’s dad, the cancer journey, and losing Tom. These are just the tip of the iceberg from the last 22 years. Lots of memories, both good and bad, are piled into those years. If I COULD go back, I would get Tom to go to the doctor sooner. I would have insisted we annoy the heck out of the medical profession until we figured out what was going on with him. Maybe we could have caught it soon enough to save him.
But as you all know, we can’t turn back time. We can only go forward with what we have. I am thankful for all of those years with Tom and if I could go back and do them again, I would. Because it would mean more time with him. I think sometimes how I’d like him to hold me just one more time. But then I know, it would not be enough. I miss him so much.
When I posted about it on Facebook page, I had someone make the comment that they’d like to go back to 2000. My immediate response was that I would too, it would give me another 20 years with Tom.
Then I got to thinking about all the pain and joy and laughter and hurt from those years. Tom losing his mom and stepdad, our house fire, moving into this home, graduations (high school and college), marriages, grandkids being born, the cancer diagnosis, losing Tom’s dad, the cancer journey, and losing Tom. These are just the tip of the iceberg from the last 22 years. Lots of memories, both good and bad, are piled into those years. If I COULD go back, I would get Tom to go to the doctor sooner. I would have insisted we annoy the heck out of the medical profession until we figured out what was going on with him. Maybe we could have caught it soon enough to save him.
But as you all know, we can’t turn back time. We can only go forward with what we have. I am thankful for all of those years with Tom and if I could go back and do them again, I would. Because it would mean more time with him. I think sometimes how I’d like him to hold me just one more time. But then I know, it would not be enough. I miss him so much.
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