Last week, I had a grumpy spell. My instinct was to try to talk myself out of it. Then I realized, it's okay to be grumpy (as long as you're not taking it out on others around you). Feeling your feelings is so important. So I just let myself be grumpy and tried to feel my feelings. It reminded me of an old Reader's Digest article that I read years ago called "Confessions of a Three Day Grouch" (or something similar). I found an article from a 1984 New York Times with a similar title. I'm not sure if it's the same one or not: https://www.nytimes.com/1984/02/19/magazine/sunday-observer.html
Feelings are just feelings. It's what we do with them that matters. So if I'm grumpy and take it out on Tom or whoever is around me, that's not okay. But being grumpy itself is not wrong. We constantly try to talk ourselves and our children out of our feelings. I remember one trainer at a class calling it "happy them up". We're always trying to happy the children up rather than just letting them have their feelings. But our feelings matter. When we try to stuff them down or ignore them, that's when problems ensue. Finding a way to deal with your feelings in a productive manner is essential. Writing about them, talking about them, whatever works for you. Just allow yourself (and others around you) to feel them. Few things are more annoying to me than when someone says "You shouldn't feel that way". Well, who are you to tell me how to feel? I feel how I feel. My feelings are not right or wrong, they just are. Now if I take those feelings and I punch you in the face, that's wrong. But how I feel is not wrong.
How do you deal with your feelings?
Feelings are just feelings. It's what we do with them that matters. So if I'm grumpy and take it out on Tom or whoever is around me, that's not okay. But being grumpy itself is not wrong. We constantly try to talk ourselves and our children out of our feelings. I remember one trainer at a class calling it "happy them up". We're always trying to happy the children up rather than just letting them have their feelings. But our feelings matter. When we try to stuff them down or ignore them, that's when problems ensue. Finding a way to deal with your feelings in a productive manner is essential. Writing about them, talking about them, whatever works for you. Just allow yourself (and others around you) to feel them. Few things are more annoying to me than when someone says "You shouldn't feel that way". Well, who are you to tell me how to feel? I feel how I feel. My feelings are not right or wrong, they just are. Now if I take those feelings and I punch you in the face, that's wrong. But how I feel is not wrong.
How do you deal with your feelings?
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