In some of the literature that the chaplain from hospice brought me, there is a quote that says, “I must feel it to heal it”. I thought I would write about some of my feelings:
Thankful. Thankful that Tom fought as long and hard as he did, never losing his sense of humor or his good attitude. Thankful that we made the decision early on to enjoy the time we had together, whether it was days, weeks, months, or years. Because the truth is, no one knows anyway. Thankful that while I was still doing child care, my families were amazing and not one single time did any of them make me feel guilty for having to take off to take Tom to a treatment or a scan or an appointment. Thankful that after I closed, I was able to have a career with a lot of flexibility that gave me the freedom to take Tom to his appointments. I could go on and on with all the things I am thankful for.
All of the feelings are valid and all of them must be felt. I often say in my child care classes “Feelings are just feelings. It’s what we do with them that matters”. We often forget to let children feel their feelings and we often forget to let ourselves feel them as well. God made us these incredible humans with these complex emotions, and I believe he meant for us to feel them. Take some time today and really notice what you are feeling. Feel those feelings.