​Six Months
Six months have gone by,
So many days without you.
Many more to come. 

I have struggled to get myself out of bed every day this week. I am not sure why. I mean, I guess some of it is the cold. Who wants to get out of a warm bed when it's negative degrees outside? LOL. Some of it is probably Valentine's Day and the six month anniversary of Tom's death coming up tomorrow. I know some people consider Valentine's Day a "made-up" holiday. But I have always loved it. Tom and I always tried to do something special, even if it was just something little. I had invited the grandkids to come stay with me for the weekend; partially to distract myself and also to give their parents a romantic weekend. Of course, the weather detoured that so it's been rescheduled for March. 

Anyway, I am just rambling and do not really have anything productive to say today so I will wrap up now. Hope everyone is staying safe and warm. 

​

This weather makes me want to curl up in a chair with a blanket and read a book or watch TV. And it definitely makes me want to eat, eat, eat lol. 


How does this weather affect you? How is everything going for you and your family in this weather? So far my house is staying warm enough, I think mainly because I am supplementing with my gas fireplace. I keep thinking how cold poor Tom would be in all of this. The water line to my washer froze and I am just praying it doesn't break when it thaws out. 

Monday: 12,445
Tuesday: 10,330
Wednesday: 12,434
Thursday: 10,424
​Friday: 12,458

Oh how I long,
To hold you again.
Oh how I long,
For what might have been.
Losing you,
Wasn’t part of my plan,
But cancer took away,
My perfect man. 



​Happy Valentine's Day in heaven, my love 

If you are a fan of Parks & Rec, then you know today is "Galentine's Day"; a day to celebrate your gal pals. 

I am so thankful for all the friends in my life (men and women alike) and so here's a huge shout out to all of them. 

This week’s update on Happiness Project 2.0:

1. 12,000 steps MWF’s/10,000 steps T/Th’s: I got over 12,000 steps last Friday, this Monday & Wednesday and over 10,000 steps on Tuesday and Thursday
2. Walk 20 minutes each day: did this all seven days
3. Sleep 7-8 hours a night: every night
4. Read 21 minutes a day: all seven days
5. Pyramid Model Training: five of the five planned days
6. Household chores: five of the five planned days
7. One sentence journal: every day.
8. Keep up certain 2020 resolutions:

1. Paperwork: five of the weekly five-day goal
2. Devotional/prayer journal: every day
3. Post in Facebook group: every day
4. Write in blog: every day
5. Drink water: every day
6. De-clutter: major fail on this one this week! Only did it one day!
7. Work on creating new classes: three of the five planned days
8. Fruits/veggies: every day (this one is much easier to meet when I am actually home lol) 

​Today, I am pondering this quote that I read this morning in the Dr. Stuart Brown book that I am reading:
“Play isn’t the enemy of learning, it’s learning’s partner. Play is like fertilizer for brain growth. It’s crazy not to use it”.
As I teach CDA (Child Development Associate credential classes) and workshops for early childhood educators in Oklahoma, I am often struck by how often they do not see play as an important part of learning. In one of the classes on play that I teach, I have them recall a recent play episode that they observed and write it down. Then we look in the Oklahoma Early Learning Guidelines for the child’s age and check for things the child learned during the recorded play episode. They are often astounded at how much children can learn from play and come away starting to realize how important play is. I think we all know in theory that play is important, but unless we have the ability to back it up and explain it to parents and others who may not realize it, then we get drawn into the “we have to do worksheets and rote drills” to teach them rabbit hole and that is not a fun or pleasant place to be.
Just for a moment, think back to your own schooling. What are the things you remember best from school? What lessons stuck with you? Do you remember the dates you memorized for each war or other significant historic event? Do you remember all the state capitals? We tend to remember the things that interest us or that we were taught in an engaging way. I remember lots of lessons from my Home Ec classes because they were so hands-on and practical. I can tell you lots of things I have learned about play over the years because it is a topic that grabbed my attention and I have researched it out of my own interest. Reading and learning about play is play for me because I find it so engaging!
We have got to give children (and ourselves!) the chance to play! How are you going to play today?

​Lessons from my play history
Last week I wrote about my “play history”, things I enjoyed doing when I was younger. So now I want to think about what kind of lessons I can take from this history.
“Playing school”: I remember that one of my favorite Christmas presents ever was a school chalkboard. Looking at my life now and how much I enjoy teaching, it makes perfect sense that I am so energized from teaching. It is basically my “happy place”. It also brought to mind something Gretchen Rubin about how doing stuff to make you happy doesn’t always make you happy. Creating classes is a challenge and I love when I finish and get to teach one, but the actual process of getting there isn’t that fun to me. But I can’t get to point B (teaching the class) without point A (creating the class). Yes, there are pre-made classes that I can teach, but teaching my own classes is much more satisfying and enjoyable for me.
“Writing”: I realized in late 2019 that writing had been missing from my life. I have always enjoyed writing but had gotten away from doing it. Starting to write about Tom and I’s journey with his cancer and writing the blog has really helped me to process a lot of my feelings. Doing it doesn’t always make me feel happy in the moment (there’s often a lot of tears involved), but it is cathartic, and I think it helps me feel happier overall.
Outside play: This is the one that needs the most work. Sure, I have taken walks outside, but I’d like to find somewhere I can walk more in tune with nature (if that makes sense). I remember seeing a nature park with a walking trail down the street from Mercy where Tom used to get his treatments. I had planned to start going there and walking while he was doing treatments, but then of course his treatments stopped. If anyone knows of any good places I can walk with more nature, I would love to hear about it.
Reading: Last, but not least, we come to reading! I seriously cannot remember a time in my life when I did not want to have a book in my hand. There were times during Tom’s illness that it was hard for me to concentrate on books and I still cannot stand to read any books that are sad. I am sticking to some pretty light reading and that is okay. Eventually I may get to the point where I am ready to go back to doing some more serious reading, but for now, light and fun is what I need. 

I went to the doctor last Friday to get my meds renewed and of course they had to draw blood from me lol. 

Anyway, my A1C (measure of my blood sugar) was up. This didn't surprise me because I have had some crazy highs the last few months since Tom died. From what I've read, grief affects your blood sugar and I can definitely believe that. 

Cholesterol was high and she's pushing me to start taking meds for it. 

B12 and Vitamin D levels were low. D levels are so low she's putting me on a prescription. 

Thyroid medicine needs adjusting again. 

I guess the main good thing that came out of it all is that at least now I know why I have been feeling so tired and run-down the last few weeks. Like I could not sleep long enough or often enough. Hopefully adjusting the thyroid medicine and starting on some B12 will help with that. 

Would appreciate some prayers, thank you.